| Please enjoy the following guest post about the stressors that moving can pose for children. Mandy Collier is a freelance writer and a mother of four girls. In her writing, she mainly focuses on different challenges of raising children. She is passionate about understanding how the human mind works and is always striving to learn more on the topic of psychology. In her free time, she enjoys going on family road trips and gardening. |  |
When talking about moving, we often notice how stressful the process is. However, this usually applies to adults. The truth is that relocation is quite stressful for everybody, including children. The young ones often deal with negative emotions related to moving. As this can become more serious, parents should watch out for red flags and help their kids deal with the change in the best possible way. In this article, we’ll go through how moving can trigger depression in children, which will help parents deal with this challenging aspect of the moving process.
The reason behind the move
The reason why a family is moving is usually the root of depression-related issues with children. Sometimes, families are not prepared for this event, and moving comes as a shock to everybody. Very often, certain unpleasant circumstances such as divorce, financial or work problems are why somebody is moving, and that’s where the problem occurs. Kids are particularly sensitive in these situations, as they relate adverse events to the move. This is when relocation to another home becomes even more traumatic, and the adaptation to the new environment much more challenging and slower. That’s how moving can trigger depression in children, and parents need to find a way to handle this situation as best as they can.
Adapting to the new environment
Kids love familiar places. They remind them of happy moments from the past, family activities, friends, etc. A home is probably the most important place in the life of every child. That’s why moving to another location can be very stressful for the young ones and even lead to depression. It’s not uncommon for children to find it hard to accept the new house. It’s difficult to leave the old room, well-known nooks around the house, and call another property home. For kids, that’s even harder than for adults, as they can’t grasp the whole complexity behind the move.
Losing old friends
Another very common reason why kids find it hard to move is losing old friends. Childhood friendships are very significant in everybody’s life, and many of them last very long. Furthermore, first crushes are also difficult to leave. School children and teenagers often have trouble leaving their friends and moving to another city or country. Another part of this problem is meeting new people after the relocation, which may make the kids shy and cause more severe problems.
Dealing with post-move depression in children
Parents play a critical role in the moving process. As they can’t change everything, parents need to learn how to deal with the situation and help their children overcome the challenges. There are steps you can take to help your child feel better about the move and minimize the risk of getting into a more serious problem. Firstly, acknowledge your child’s emotions, and be aware that moving can trigger depression in children. Never underestimate the feelings of your children, even though their problems may seem less important than yours. It’s essential that parents and children communicate openly about their feelings and concerns. Only after you’ve talked through everything can you take some of the following steps to make them feel better about the relocation and accept the changes much faster.
Present the advantages of the move
It’s important to point out all the benefits of moving to another home your child will be able to enjoy. Even if the family is not moving because of the happiest reasons, try to talk about the advantages of moving. Present the new home and all its great characteristics and the good things about the new city.
Include your kids in the moving process
Being part of the moving process is essential for kids. It makes them feel important and helps them accept the changes faster. You can include the kids in decision-making, such as decorating their room, picking colors, decluttering old toys and books, etc. This will keep them occupied and help them accept the changes much better.
Accepting the new school
Adapting to a new school, teachers, and classmates is probably one of the biggest worries for kids who move. Some kids are shy and find it hard to meet new people. It’s essential to help them get used to new environment and introduce them to the new school. It would be good if you could visit the school before the classes start, walk around, meet the teachers and simply assist the child in familiarizing with the school.
Maintain old relationships
Leaving old friends is tough. However, you should talk about this with your kids and insist on maintaining old friendships. Explain that it is easier to do that nowadays, with the help of video calls, social networks, etc. In the meantime, try to meet new people as much as possible, and set a positive example for your kids on building new relationships in the new city. Show your child that it’s okay to introduce yourself to neighbors, say hi to the new mailman, and simply be more open to creating new connections.
Learn how to recognize depression in children
It is essential for parents to know their child’s behavior and notice if anything unusual happens. Undoubtedly, children with previous insecurities and mental concerns have a higher risk of developing depression due to moving houses. Either way, make sure to react accordingly and consult a professional in case you notice certain red flags such as crying, unexplained withdrawal, loss of interest, sleeping/diet disorders, headaches, etc.
Changes in behavior and anxiety are common when moving. Still, if unusual things continue to happen for more extended periods, it may be time to consult a physician and explore the problem further. Just be sure to remember that moving can trigger depression in children. Therefore, your family’s health should always be a priority, no matter how busy and stressful the moving process becomes.
Changes in behavior and anxiety are common when moving. Still, if unusual things continue to happen for more extended periods, it may be time to consult a physician and explore the problem further. Just be sure to remember that moving can trigger depression in children. Therefore, your family’s health should always be a priority, no matter how busy and stressful the moving process becomes.
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David B. Younger, Ph.D. is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 16-year-old son, 7-year-old daughter and 9-year-old toy poodle.
David B. Younger, Ph.D. is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 16-year-old son, 7-year-old daughter and 9-year-old toy poodle.
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