Ashley Taylor is a freelance writer, photographer, and advocate for people with disabilities. She created DisabledParents.org to provide information and resources to other parents with disabilities. When she isn’t working, she enjoys spending time with her husband and two children.
Getting along with your ex
Celebrating in the midst of turmoil
Make new routines
In the spring go to a garden center and pick out plants together to make a new garden bed. Subscribe to a meal kit delivery service and start cooking meals together. Pick up a new hobby you can enjoy together. In doing so, you are having new experiences and teaching your child life skills. The best way to work on relationships is to work on oneself, and if they’ve got any misplaced guilt about the divorce, getting them to feel good about themselves can help them get over the negative feelings faster.
Create a comfortable home
When looking for a place to rent in Austin, enlist the help of your children, even though you’ll make the final decision. Having input can make them feel more involved and can bolster their feelings of acceptance with this living arrangement. Use online directories together to find an affordable place. You can start by filtering for wants first, and then winnow your choices down based on needs.
Connect with a support system
Therapy can also prove to be beneficial for you and your ex, providing a platform to air grievances, facilitate cooperation, and inspire reconciliation in some cases. Since your children are the most critical factor to consider during and after a divorce, counseling may mean the difference between a life full of conflict or a productive future.
Divorce is stressful, and it’s likely your children will feel anxiety as everyone adjusts. But there are plenty of ways you can help them feel at ease, especially if you make a point to focus on them. Reinforce the old routines that still make sense to keep and create new routines. Be respectful of your ex and keep lines of communication open. Celebrate each other whenever you can and applaud the independence and maturity of your children as they grow into who they really are.
David B. Younger, Ph.D. is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 16-year-old son, 7-year-old daughter and 9-year-old toy poodle.