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New Moms: You Don’t Have to Be Sneaky About Self-Care

12/14/2018

 
Enjoy the following guest post by Ashley Taylor about the importance of self-care for new moms.
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Ashley Taylor is a freelance writer, photographer, and advocate for people with disabilities. She created DisabledParents.org to provide information and resources to other parents with disabilities. When she isn’t working, she enjoys spending time with her husband and two children.
NEW MOMS: YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SNEAKY ABOUT SELF-CARE
Everyone has heard a mom say she was going to “sneak in” a little time to herself. Maybe she’ll “sneak out” for a cup of coffee with a friend or “sneak a nap” while her baby rests. It’s time to stop thinking about self-care as selfish. It isn’t, and it’s not something that we should relegate to the shadows. Self-care is something we should work into our daily lives and participate in proudly. When you have a new baby, you may have to get creative with exactly how you accomplish this.

Newborns, naps, and nutrition

Newborns sleep a lot, but that sleep is broken up into short spurts since they need to eat every few hours. Try to mimic your baby’s sleep schedule as much as possible, and ask your spouse, partner, or a friend to handle at least one late night or early morning feeding so that you can get one long stretch of shuteye. While polyphasic sleep is not a long-term solution to your slumbering woes, napping when you have a chance will help you stay sharp so that you can best care for your infant.
 
In addition to sleep, many new moms tend to neglect their nutritional needs in the early stages of parenthood. This is the worst time to skip meals, however. If you are breastfeeding, you need around 500 extra calories each day to maintain your milk supply. Lactation consultant Kelly Bonyata notes that breastfeeding mothers should also stay hydrated, which is accomplished by simply drinking when you are thirsty. Keep a bottle of water with your baby gear and spend an afternoon each week preparing meals and snacks, so you always have a source of nutrition readily available.

Making time for yourself and your partner

Time is a valuable commodity for parents of newborns, and while it’s perfectly normal to focus your attention on your progeny, you should also make time for yourself and your relationship. Bring someone in to tackle the chores that take the most time out of your day, such as housecleaning, lawn care, or grocery shopping. You may spend between $100 and $200 on a house cleaner, $100 for lawn mowing, or up to $50 to have someone do the shopping for you, but the time each will free up is time you can spend with the person who helped you make the baby in the first place.
 
Your other relationships can also be something you nurture during this time, and you will benefit from social interaction. Doula Carrie Murphy asserts that visiting with friends and family is a great way to receive emotional support. Keep in mind that no one can do it alone, and bringing in help and support is one of the best ways to fit self-care on to your list of obligations.

Fitness

Your body has changed, and you may or may not feel like hitting the gym. But once you are cleared for physical activity at around six weeks postpartum, it’s time to get your fitness routine back on track. Walking is an exceptional reintroduction to exercise that can help you and your baby get out of the house. Talk to your doctor about gentle exercises your body can handle in the immediate postnatal period if you don’t want to wait.
 
Even though your attention is focused on your bouncing baby boy or girl, if you don’t prioritize your own well-being, you may find you don’t have the energy to focus on theirs. Eat well, ask for help, and wear your badge of self-care proudly, and you will set an example for your family and the other moms who will follow in your footsteps.


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If you haven’t already read the book, it’s a great place to start - Relationship Reboot: Break free from the bad habits in your relationship.
​

David B. Younger, Ph.D. is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 14-year-old son, 4-year-old daughter and 6-year-old toy poodle.

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