When you work, and have kids, the days can go by so quickly. It is easy to get caught up in acting and reacting, losing sight of the bigger picture.
The bigger picture is what lies outside of the immediate demands. The bigger picture is about your intentions versus your reactions.
One of the first things that tends to get lost in the shuffle when things get busy is making the time to connect with your partner.
The bigger picture is what lies outside of the immediate demands. The bigger picture is about your intentions versus your reactions.
One of the first things that tends to get lost in the shuffle when things get busy is making the time to connect with your partner.
Of course, there are going to be days that are so crazy that there’s barely time to say hello. But when the days of not connecting accumulate, it creates distance, which leads to resentment.
The connection I am referring to is different than a weekly date night, although those are important too. I’m talking about prioritizing taking time every day to connect. This can happen in many different ways. Here are some examples:
All of these things are free, and they are things you can do at home. But you need to make the time and the space for it to happen, or it won’t.
Deb and I started meditating together back in January and it has made a big difference for us. We try to do it in the morning before the kids wake up. It has brought us closer and helps us to feel connected even when the kids take all of the oxygen.
Exercise:
Good luck. As always, I’d love to hear how it goes. Remember, where there’s love, there’s hope.
The connection I am referring to is different than a weekly date night, although those are important too. I’m talking about prioritizing taking time every day to connect. This can happen in many different ways. Here are some examples:
- Going for a walk together.
- Meditating together.
- Having breakfast together.
- Sex.
- Cuddling.
- Taking a shower together.
- Having a distraction-free conversation (no devices and no kids).
All of these things are free, and they are things you can do at home. But you need to make the time and the space for it to happen, or it won’t.
Deb and I started meditating together back in January and it has made a big difference for us. We try to do it in the morning before the kids wake up. It has brought us closer and helps us to feel connected even when the kids take all of the oxygen.
Exercise:
- Make a list of a few things you and your partner can do to connect on a daily basis.
- Try doing one for two weeks. Schedule them if you have to.
- Check back in with each other after two weeks to talk about how it’s going. Make changes if you need to.
- Commit to connecting every day.
Good luck. As always, I’d love to hear how it goes. Remember, where there’s love, there’s hope.
David B. Younger, Ph.D is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice, and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 12-year-old son, 3-year-old daughter and 5-year-old toy poodle.
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