Monday night, our first lady spoke at the Democratic National Convention. Michelle Obama blows me away. Last week I watched a viral clip of her doing karaoke in the car on the Late, Late Show. I loved it. I thought, how can she be so natural when she knows millions of people are watching her?
It was more of the same when she spoke at the convention. This time, with most of the world watching. I want to meet her. I want to hug and kiss her. I want her to follow in her husband’s footsteps and lead. I hope that one day Michelle Obama will run for president.
She would inspire all the girls and women of color to stand up and be heard and be leaders. She would do it as she does everything I have seen her do, with grace, humility, respect, intelligence and passion.
It was more of the same when she spoke at the convention. This time, with most of the world watching. I want to meet her. I want to hug and kiss her. I want her to follow in her husband’s footsteps and lead. I hope that one day Michelle Obama will run for president.
She would inspire all the girls and women of color to stand up and be heard and be leaders. She would do it as she does everything I have seen her do, with grace, humility, respect, intelligence and passion.
Another memorable thing that happened for me this week was going to The Color Purple on Broadway with my wife and son on Tuesday. Wow. What a powerful performance. I’ve never seen standing ovations during a Broadway show, only at the end.
When a black woman, forced by her father into marriage with an abusive husband, has her first experience of seeing another black woman stand up to her husband, own her power and strength, and go through her own transformation…When all the audience roars in support when Sofia sings “Hell no” …When the abusive husband is forced to see the err of his ways and connect to the pain and suffering of his own upbringing…When all the women unite to support and empower each other, the impossible happens.
When a black woman, forced by her father into marriage with an abusive husband, has her first experience of seeing another black woman stand up to her husband, own her power and strength, and go through her own transformation…When all the audience roars in support when Sofia sings “Hell no” …When the abusive husband is forced to see the err of his ways and connect to the pain and suffering of his own upbringing…When all the women unite to support and empower each other, the impossible happens.
I am a privileged white man. I grew up in the suburbs. I went to both public and private schools. I often wonder who I’d be if I didn’t have muscular dystrophy. Having a disability has made me a minority.
I know now what it is like to live in a world that was not made by me or meant for me. It has blackened my whiteness, feminized my masculinity and bent my straightness in such expansive and profound ways.
I had a stint for three years in high school and the beginning of college of being an outspoken conservative. It’s a time that makes me cringe when I think about it, but I understand it now as a young man dealing with the internal time bomb of a degenerative illness, full of unprocessed rage and fear, desperately trying to find himself.
In the second semester of my freshman year at college, I moved in with a roommate who was as straight-laced as they come. He was on track to join the CIA. I guarantee you he did. He was an ultra-conservative; the first ultra conservative I had met the same age as myself (I grew up in the Northeast). I found myself disagreeing with everything he was saying. He provided me with the reflection that I needed.
I’m sure it would have happened at some point, but I appreciate my roommate for that to this day. When you’re white, wealthy, male and able-bodied, you don’t get paid less than others doing the same job. You don’t get stopped and frisked on the streets. You don’t go to a school with metal detectors. You don’t get beaten up for your sexual orientation and you don’t have to research every time you go out to make sure there’s an accessible entrance and bathroom.
What happens when the privileged don’t own their privilege? In Germany, children that were born years after the Holocaust are taught what happened. They are taught that what happened is their responsibility and burden to bear even though they weren’t alive. It’s not just about making reparations and building monuments. It’s about owning it.
I know now what it is like to live in a world that was not made by me or meant for me. It has blackened my whiteness, feminized my masculinity and bent my straightness in such expansive and profound ways.
I had a stint for three years in high school and the beginning of college of being an outspoken conservative. It’s a time that makes me cringe when I think about it, but I understand it now as a young man dealing with the internal time bomb of a degenerative illness, full of unprocessed rage and fear, desperately trying to find himself.
In the second semester of my freshman year at college, I moved in with a roommate who was as straight-laced as they come. He was on track to join the CIA. I guarantee you he did. He was an ultra-conservative; the first ultra conservative I had met the same age as myself (I grew up in the Northeast). I found myself disagreeing with everything he was saying. He provided me with the reflection that I needed.
I’m sure it would have happened at some point, but I appreciate my roommate for that to this day. When you’re white, wealthy, male and able-bodied, you don’t get paid less than others doing the same job. You don’t get stopped and frisked on the streets. You don’t go to a school with metal detectors. You don’t get beaten up for your sexual orientation and you don’t have to research every time you go out to make sure there’s an accessible entrance and bathroom.
What happens when the privileged don’t own their privilege? In Germany, children that were born years after the Holocaust are taught what happened. They are taught that what happened is their responsibility and burden to bear even though they weren’t alive. It’s not just about making reparations and building monuments. It’s about owning it.
Have we as a nation owned that we are a country built upon the blood of an entire race that we annihilated? Have we owned that the structures that were erected upon that foundation were built by thousands upon thousands of people torn from their countries and families and brought here to be systematically dehumanized?
Can the Emancipation Proclamation or the Civil Rights Act repair this? How about a chapter in a history textbook?
Electing a black president was unquestionably a leap forward in our collective consciousness.
We have another opportunity to crack the glass ceiling by electing a female president in November. We have a chance to show our daughters and sons that a woman can become president of the United States, that one of our daughters can and will become president of the United States one day.
Can the Emancipation Proclamation or the Civil Rights Act repair this? How about a chapter in a history textbook?
Electing a black president was unquestionably a leap forward in our collective consciousness.
We have another opportunity to crack the glass ceiling by electing a female president in November. We have a chance to show our daughters and sons that a woman can become president of the United States, that one of our daughters can and will become president of the United States one day.
We need to put the first woman in the oval office in November and I hope with all my soul that we put the first black woman in the oval office eight years from now. As Michelle put it: "Every election is about who will have the power to shape our children for the next four or eight years of their lives."
In a country where women did not have the right to vote 100 years ago…it is long overdue.
In a country where women did not have the right to vote 100 years ago…it is long overdue.
David B. Younger, Ph.D is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice, and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 11 year-old son, 2 year-old daughter and 4 year-old toy poodle.
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