The process of change
Change from the inside-out
Change from the inside-out is the same thing except, instead of the stimulus being external, i.e. a sugar pill, it is coming from within you, i.e. an intention.
It’s not just about thinking something different without believing it, because the mind would know it is not real and categorize it as such.
turning the tables on our minds
When we react automatically to external stimuli without any sense of agency or awareness, we are passengers. The more aware we are, the more choices we give ourselves. Awareness is the key to getting behind the wheel and staying there.
The moral of this story is simple. Pay attention. Try to come off autopilot and pay attention to why you are doing what you are doing at any given moment. Stay present to what you are experiencing and observe with the interest and curiosity of a little child. The more you do it, the more natural it will become.
I’ll leave you with a quote one of my patients mentioned in our session a few days ago from a Fresh Air interview with comedian Pete Holmes, creator of the HBO show Crashing:
If you haven’t already read the book, it’s a great place to start - Relationship Reboot: Break free from the bad habits in your relationship.
David B. Younger, Ph.D. is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 13-year-old son, 4-year-old daughter and 6-year-old toy poodle.