The following is a guest post from Daniel Sherwin. Daniel is a single dad to a daughter (9) and son (6). His site, DadSolo.com, provides resources and information for single dads. This post is about staying safe in the kitchen with your kids.
The kitchen is the heart of most homes. There's something about the act of preparing food that stirs the human spirit, calling us to gather together for a good meal and good company. But, before you sit down with your loved ones to enjoy all that wonderful bounty, take a minute to read these kitchen safety tips for kids and adults alike.
A common issue I encounter with couples is knowing how to best support your partner when they are upset. Most people have an impulse to problem-solve when that’s not what is wanted or needed. This often stems in part from underlying anxiety on the part of the listener. It is hard to see one’s partner in distress.
Most people, when they are upset, are not able to clearly communicate what they need. When you put the problem-solving anxiety together with an inability to communicate needs, you have a recipe for disappointment, misattunement, and frustration.
Knowing that it is difficult to work on these things in the moment, it makes sense to sit down and talk about it at a time when both partners are not in distress.
Last week, I wrote about the passing of my mother. This week’s post is about grieving and the price we pay for avoiding dealing with our mortality.
The Shiva Show
In the Jewish tradition, Shiva is a time for grieving, to take care of those that are mourning and pay respects to those that have died. Mourners are supposed to be provided with food, so they don’t have to think about feeding themselves. You’re not supposed to ask mourners how they are doing for the first 30 days because the answer is obvious. Traditionally, one doesn’t initiate conversation with mourners, rather one follows their leads.
Shiva has evolved into something very different, at least for non-religious Jews in the States. These days, the mourners are expected to cater the Shiva so people paying their respects can stuff their faces with bagels, lox, and rugelach (Jewish cookies). It’s more like a cocktail party, really.
On Monday, February 19 I had an acupuncture session in the afternoon. That night, I had the best sleep I had had in months. I didn’t wake up at all during the night and I sat up and smiled when my alarm sounded at 7:30 Tuesday morning playing Ottmar Liebert’s Merengue de Alegrias.
Before I could even turn my alarm off, my wife, Debbie, came back into the room, silenced my phone, knelt down next to me and removed the earplug from my left ear. I was about to tell her how well I slept when I saw the expression on her face. “Amor,” she said. “Your mom died in her sleep last night.” She hugged me. I sat there silent and after a few minutes I curled up into a ball on my bed and pulled the covers over my face.