My wife, Debbie, recently returned from a 3-week trip to Peru, including her 25th high school reunion. For her reunion, she spent the week with people she grew up with and went to school with since she was 3. She hadn't seen some of them in over 15 years. She had a blast, more so than she had ever expected. The fact that she lives very different lives from a lot of them didn't matter. They danced and sang and laughed for hours on end.
Thank you so much to Erin Malawer, award-winning blogger of Allergy Shmallergy, a unique resource for families dealing with food allergies, for nominating Love After Kids for the Brotherhood of the World Blogger Award!
As part of the process of accepting this award, nominees answer questions. [See additional rules and nominees below.]
1. Where do you get inspiration for your blog/writing?
I love to write. It's a way for me to reach more people outside of my practice. It forces me to hone ideas and try to make them accessible and useful for people.
2. If there are past lives, who were you/what was your profession?
Socrates (minus the hemlock), trying to wake people from the status quo, habitual ways of thinking and being.
3. What song brings back a strong memory each time you hear it?
Georgia on my mind by Ray Charles.
4. What’s your hidden talent?
5. What makes you feel grateful?
The Brotherhood of the World Blogger Award
I nominate the following bloggers, whose work is inspiring, insightful and on my short list of must-reads:
Questions for Nominees:
If you haven't already read the book, Relationship Reboot: Break free from the bad habits in your relationship is available on Amazon Kindle now.
David B. Younger, Ph.D. is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 13-year-old son, 3-year-old daughter and 5-year-old toy poodle.
Whether or not you are aware of it, fear is most likely impacting at least one aspect of your relationship. The likelihood is that you don't even know it's happening.
Fear of Rejection
A big one that impacts a lot of people is fear of rejection. This is especially common when it comes to intimacy and sex. All it takes are a handful of instances when one person advances and the other declines for the fear of rejection to set in.
We all have different modes, parts, or voices that comprise our internal worlds. Different situations will trigger different modes based on past experiences and habitual ways of relating and responding. The most pernicious of them all, and probably the most universal, is the self-critic. The self-critic always manages to find fault with something you do. It's a bully, and it will beat you down if you let it.