8 ways to motivate your kid to learn and grow responsibly

Please enjoy the following guest post about helping your kids to cultivate responsibility.

Andrea Gibbs was born, raised, and is still living in New York. She's a work-at-home mom with a background in business development, strategy, and social media marketing. She's also a blog contributor at Baby Steps Daycare in Forest Hills, New York to motivate and educate other parents about how they can get their children ahead of the game in school.

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As parents, you have seen some scenarios where kids offer themselves to help their parents do chores or witness a kid walk an older adult across the street, hoping your children will be those children. It is not impossible to imagine that their instincts to do well for others and themselves will take them far in life. But how does a kid without these instincts obtain the same skills? How do we convey the value of responsibility and guide our children to be reliable and conscientious? The most effective way to do this is by motivating your kids to learn and grow responsibly. So here are eight ways you can try for your child.

Be a good example

One of the best ways to teach your kid lessons in responsibility is by being a good example. Your kid should see you doing your chores responsibly, take out the trash, handling the car well, and making sure you’re at work on time. You should also be able to fix things around the house or do small repairs when needed.

A child who sees his parents doing these things will easily pick up these skills. But, on the other hand, if the kids see their parents not living responsibly, it may discourage them from improving their habits or learning important responsibilities.

Be a teaching coach

It is impossible to make your child learn everything about responsibility on his own. You will need to be a teaching coach at some point. When you, as a parent, notice something that your child is doing wrong, step in and correct it. But instead of giving your kids the regular lecture on what they did wrong, use it as an opportunity to teach them how to do better next time.

For example, if he gets into trouble at school for not handing in his assignment on time, help him develop ways to solve this problem next time around. Perhaps he needs to be more prepared for deadlines or needs extra help from you and the teacher with his assignments.

Encourage your child to do good deeds

It is also essential to encourage your child to show kindness and compassion. You could start with simple actions such as doing a random act of kindness at school, volunteering for community service projects, or giving your kids’ allowance to the needy. Show them how their actions can make a difference in someone else’s life and motivate them to keep learning and growing.

You can teach them how to contribute even more and help others without any prodding from you with time. Your child will eventually realize that he deserves more credit for these same deeds and take pride in helping his family and friends out in need.

Teach your child about the value of learning

Learning is something that’s fun for kids and can be very beneficial to them throughout their lives. So it is essential to teach your child about the value of learning and how useful it can be in their lives. You could do this by exposing your children to books and shows about learning, which will help them develop an interest in reading and learn how good they are compared to other people.

Also, you could encourage them to try new things such as attending school camps, spending time with adults who love learning, volunteering for a group project at school, joining clubs, and making friends with people who learn new things every day. These experiences will positively influence their lives and inspire them to continue learning and growing.

Give your child a responsibility journal

One way to teach your child about responsibility is by giving him a responsibility journal. It is an excellent way for you as a parent to show your child how much you value his hard work and how much he helps you and other people in the process of living life well. In this journal, write down all of his responsibilities from the time he wakes up or gets ready for school until bedtime or when you return home from work each day.

So he can see how he is constantly making contributions and how he needs some help from you or others occasionally. You could even make him a list of all the things that his family needs him to do around the house, then give him the first few days to do them first. That way, he will learn why these tasks are important and try hard to stick with them for a while.

Teach your child how to make consequences happen

Another way to teach your child about responsibility is to show him how he can make consequences happen by doing what he says he will do. For example, if you want your kids to be on time for school, then set them on a daily alarm clock so they can wake up in time for school every morning. Then, if they do not get their chores or tasks done on time, remind them that if they do not get on with it, there may be negative consequences later in life.

It will allow your children to understand that they cannot procrastinate on their responsibilities without having some negative consequences at the end of the day for them to deal with.

Give your child responsibility for his physical well-being

Your child needs to learn that he is responsible for taking care of his body because if they do not stay healthy, they cannot give a sense of purpose and importance to their lives. So if you want your child to start taking responsibility for his physical well-being, then tell him that you expect him to eat healthy meals, get enough sleep each night and exercise at least twice a week.

Tell him that if he does not do these things, he may have trouble doing these tasks later in life or lose out on opportunities that could have helped him grow even more. So give your child the support and encouragement he needs to take care of his physical well-being.

Praise your child's efforts and accomplishments

Praise your child's efforts and accomplishments when he makes a positive difference in different areas of his life. So when he does something great or gets good grades on an assignment or test, tell him how proud you are of him and acknowledge all the hard work and effort that went into achieving this accomplishment.

By doing this, your child will learn to respect himself and appreciate what he is doing for others around him. He will eventually feel more confident in himself and gain a sense of independence once he realizes that his efforts matter even if it means facing challenges now and then.

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If you haven’t already read the book, it’s a great place to start - Relationship Reboot: Break free from the bad habits in your relationship.
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David B. Younger, Ph.D. is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 16-year-old son, 7-year-old daughter and 9-year-old toy poodle.