Please enjoy the following guest post about what you can do to help your kids transition to a new school.
Carrie Quinn is a kindergarten teacher who enjoys writing. Her aim is to help parents deal with common difficulties they face while raising their kids. She strongly believes that every child needs a different approach and she strives to implement that way of thinking into her work. Her hobby is dance and she loves spending time in nature.
Carrie Quinn is a kindergarten teacher who enjoys writing. Her aim is to help parents deal with common difficulties they face while raising their kids. She strongly believes that every child needs a different approach and she strives to implement that way of thinking into her work. Her hobby is dance and she loves spending time in nature.
Children are tougher and more resilient than we think. However, significant changes can be pretty difficult for kids to handle. Moving to a new home and going to a new school are definitely some of the most significant changes in their young lives. Therefore, they will need help adjusting to the new surroundings. Young children often can't fully comprehend what is happening and why. Also, they may have trouble adapting to the new environment and letting go of their former homes and friends. It's essential for parents to acknowledge that kids rely on familiarity and routine. Uprooting their entire lives and throwing them into a new school, new neighborhood, and a new room can be stressful. It's your job as parents to help your kids transition to a new school and adapt to their new life. And we have some advice to help you do that.
Communication is everything
As always, good communication is the foundation for everything. The same goes for talking to your kids. Before a major change, it's imperative to speak to your kids and give them enough time to process the information. You must be honest about what is happening because children have a sixth sense when it comes to lying and deception. They may not be able to put the finger on what it is exactly, but they most certainly know that something is not right. So, the best thing to do is openly discuss what the move and the new school will mean for them. It will be one of the crucial things you can do to help your kid manage stress and get a grip on their anxiety.
Moreover, you should ask them about their worries and concerns and do your best to provide reassurance by giving concrete advice whenever possible. Such conversation will be a solid base for everything. Although you will not eliminate all of their fears and possible sadness, you will show your kids that they can rely on you to help them get through this challenging time. It's the best thing you can do for your child in any situation - provide them with stability and build trust so they know they can always turn to you for help.
Moreover, you should ask them about their worries and concerns and do your best to provide reassurance by giving concrete advice whenever possible. Such conversation will be a solid base for everything. Although you will not eliminate all of their fears and possible sadness, you will show your kids that they can rely on you to help them get through this challenging time. It's the best thing you can do for your child in any situation - provide them with stability and build trust so they know they can always turn to you for help.
Keep your kids included in the process
When you are preparing for a long-distance move, children can feel like things are just happening to them. They will feel they have no control over the situation, which can be one of the primary sources of stress. A way to get them ready for this big change is to give them a chance to make some choices. This will make them feel like they are in control of some aspect of the relocation. For example, if there is more than one school they can pick, allow them to choose the one they prefer. Let them choose the new school bag and an outfit for the first day at the new school. It will show your kids that their opinions matter and that you value them. It will also go a long way towards building their confidence.
Furthermore, involve them in the process of moving itself. Regardless of your kids' age, there is something they can do to help you. They can pack their toys, decide which they want to keep and which to donate, gift, or throw away. Older kids can pack their entire rooms almost. And when you arrive at the new home, let your children decorate their new rooms, choose new wall colors, etc.
Furthermore, involve them in the process of moving itself. Regardless of your kids' age, there is something they can do to help you. They can pack their toys, decide which they want to keep and which to donate, gift, or throw away. Older kids can pack their entire rooms almost. And when you arrive at the new home, let your children decorate their new rooms, choose new wall colors, etc.
Keep things positive
Just like kids have superpowers detecting lies, they are also keen observers. They are incredibly skilled at picking up on their parents’ feelings and attitudes. Therefore, you must be positive about the upcoming move. Of course, if your kid voices their concerns, it doesn't mean you should dismiss them. Keeping a positive attitude doesn't exclude acknowledging the challenges that relocation and changing schools include. It only means focusing on the positive.
Also, you can make the process of packing fun. Your kids can decorate the moving boxes; you can organize the silly costume contest with old clothes you have decided to discard; you can have packing competitions, and so on.
Also, you can make the process of packing fun. Your kids can decorate the moving boxes; you can organize the silly costume contest with old clothes you have decided to discard; you can have packing competitions, and so on.
Visit the new school
The best way to combat the fear of the new is to get familiar with it. And one way to do that is to visit the school before your kids' first day. Also, once you know that you are moving and if there are more possible schools, it would be good to take your kids to see all of the options. Then, they will know which school they like the most.
When you visit the school, walk around the yard and the halls, get familiar with the building, learn where the gym is, where the canteen is. Moreover, talk to the new teachers and the principal. Perhaps they will be able to connect your kid to another new kid at school, which can help tremendously with adjusting, All that will help your kids transition to a new school because they will know what to expect. They will also get the feel of what the school is like, and they will already have someone they know there, so the first day won't have to be so scary.
When you visit the school, walk around the yard and the halls, get familiar with the building, learn where the gym is, where the canteen is. Moreover, talk to the new teachers and the principal. Perhaps they will be able to connect your kid to another new kid at school, which can help tremendously with adjusting, All that will help your kids transition to a new school because they will know what to expect. They will also get the feel of what the school is like, and they will already have someone they know there, so the first day won't have to be so scary.
Encourage your kid to get involved in extra-curricular activities
Once you have moved to a new home and your kids have started a new school, it would be wise to encourage them to sign up for some interesting extra-curricular activities. Remember that they should be the ones who choose the activities they like while you can provide some guidance. Joining a club or a sports team will help your kids meet new friends. And if they already did an activity in their previous school, you can nudge them a little and sign them up for it again in the new school. Perhaps that push will get them out of their comfort zone and start making connections in the new environment.
Be patient
The best you can do to help your kids transition to a new school is to be there for them, provide support, and be patient. Kids usually need time to adjust, so you have to be realistic in your expectations. As a matter of fact, don't set any deadlines regarding when your kid should start feeling at home in the new surroundings. Your job is to listen to them, do your best to understand what they are going through, steer clear of any judgment.
If you haven’t already read the book, it’s a great place to start - Relationship Reboot: Break free from the bad habits in your relationship.
David B. Younger, Ph.D. is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 16-year-old son, 7-year-old daughter and 9-year-old toy poodle.
David B. Younger, Ph.D. is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 16-year-old son, 7-year-old daughter and 9-year-old toy poodle.
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