Whether you’re marrying your children’s other biological parent or creating a blended family, there are unique stressors hidden inside of the “regular” planning that other couples don’t face. Fortunately, once you know to watch out for these pitfalls, you’ll have a much easier time avoiding them.
Going it alone
Instead of one member of the family taking on all the work, try to get everyone involved. Partners, parents, kids, friends – there are a plethora of voices you can use to help make decisions, solidify plans, and make all your wedding dreams come true. Moreover, getting all members of the family involved helps kids know that the wedding is about them, too.
If you’re trying to lose weight, focus on at least hitting your minimum caloric needs and hitting your nutritional goals. A daily multivitamin is a great way to keep yourself on track and boost your metabolism. Make sure you choose one that guarantees it contains everything listed on the label and avoids any riskier ingredients. This is an excellent opportunity to open up a conversation about body image, self-esteem, and healthy habits for the entire family.
Blowing the budget
You don’t want to start a marriage off with a big spending mistake, especially when there are kids involved. After all, financial issues are one of the leading causes of failed relationships. Pick a budget and stick to it – even if it means making some compromises. One of these is to choose a quick weekend honeymoon and then spend another weekend away with the kids. Not only will you enjoy some one-on-one time with your new spouse, you’ll also get to get away with your new family and start creating memories, all without breaking the bank.
Hyper-focusing on details
Things that might cause a pause in your plans include whether or not kids are allowed at the venue, if their other parent will allow them to cross state lines for the ceremony, and if the venue puts a cap on alcohol served onsite since overly-enthusiastic drinkers can frighten small children. Get the big details sorted out early. The small things will fall into place.
Don’t let planning a wedding stretch you so thin you risk making yourself sick. Keep a level head, plan within your means, and be a good example for the youngest members of your new household.
If you haven’t already read the book, it’s a great place to start - Relationship Reboot: Break free from the bad habits in your relationship.
David B. Younger, Ph.D. is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 14-year-old son, 5-year-old daughter and 7-year-old toy poodle.