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Planning a wedding is hard work. Even the simplest of ceremonies can cause a decent amount of anxiety. The bigger and grander you want your event to be, the more work you have to take on to make that dream a reality. When there are kids involved, planning can be even more complicated.
Whether you’re marrying your children’s other biological parent or creating a blended family, there are unique stressors hidden inside of the “regular” planning that other couples don’t face. Fortunately, once you know to watch out for these pitfalls, you’ll have a much easier time avoiding them.
Whether you’re marrying your children’s other biological parent or creating a blended family, there are unique stressors hidden inside of the “regular” planning that other couples don’t face. Fortunately, once you know to watch out for these pitfalls, you’ll have a much easier time avoiding them.
Going it alone
More often than not, the bride has a strong vision for the big day. As a result, brides are more likely to take over most of the planning tasks and workload. When things get overwhelming, they’re not sure who to turn to, and they end up burned out.
Instead of one member of the family taking on all the work, try to get everyone involved. Partners, parents, kids, friends – there are a plethora of voices you can use to help make decisions, solidify plans, and make all your wedding dreams come true. Moreover, getting all members of the family involved helps kids know that the wedding is about them, too.
Instead of one member of the family taking on all the work, try to get everyone involved. Partners, parents, kids, friends – there are a plethora of voices you can use to help make decisions, solidify plans, and make all your wedding dreams come true. Moreover, getting all members of the family involved helps kids know that the wedding is about them, too.
Crash dieting
Many brides make losing weight a priority while preparing for their wedding day. Going about weight loss in the wrong way, however, is a recipe for disaster. If you’re not getting enough vitamins and nutrients, you’re going to leave yourself tired, stressed out, and at higher risk for getting sick. Even more concerning is that you set a bad example for the kids. They will see you hurting your body in the name of beauty, and then might wonder if they are good enough to be seen in the wedding party.
If you’re trying to lose weight, focus on at least hitting your minimum caloric needs and hitting your nutritional goals. A daily multivitamin is a great way to keep yourself on track and boost your metabolism. Make sure you choose one that guarantees it contains everything listed on the label and avoids any riskier ingredients. This is an excellent opportunity to open up a conversation about body image, self-esteem, and healthy habits for the entire family.
If you’re trying to lose weight, focus on at least hitting your minimum caloric needs and hitting your nutritional goals. A daily multivitamin is a great way to keep yourself on track and boost your metabolism. Make sure you choose one that guarantees it contains everything listed on the label and avoids any riskier ingredients. This is an excellent opportunity to open up a conversation about body image, self-esteem, and healthy habits for the entire family.
Blowing the budget
Weddings are expensive, but that doesn’t mean you have to go broke in pursuit of a perfect day. Before you start picking venues and courting photographers, decide exactly how much you’re able to spend on the event. Cost-cutting measures, such as avoiding a Saturday wedding, can help you manage to stay within your limits.
You don’t want to start a marriage off with a big spending mistake, especially when there are kids involved. After all, financial issues are one of the leading causes of failed relationships. Pick a budget and stick to it – even if it means making some compromises. One of these is to choose a quick weekend honeymoon and then spend another weekend away with the kids. Not only will you enjoy some one-on-one time with your new spouse, you’ll also get to get away with your new family and start creating memories, all without breaking the bank.
You don’t want to start a marriage off with a big spending mistake, especially when there are kids involved. After all, financial issues are one of the leading causes of failed relationships. Pick a budget and stick to it – even if it means making some compromises. One of these is to choose a quick weekend honeymoon and then spend another weekend away with the kids. Not only will you enjoy some one-on-one time with your new spouse, you’ll also get to get away with your new family and start creating memories, all without breaking the bank.
Hyper-focusing on details
When you first start planning a wedding, the little details like wedding favors and invitation fonts are often the most fun part. That said, it’s easy to get too focused on the small stuff (and miss the big stuff). Yes, you want to be sure you like your wedding details, but try to recognize what’s actually important. At the end of the day, “tulle vs. satin ribbons” is not going to be the make-it-or-break-it issue at the wedding.
Things that might cause a pause in your plans include whether or not kids are allowed at the venue, if their other parent will allow them to cross state lines for the ceremony, and if the venue puts a cap on alcohol served onsite since overly-enthusiastic drinkers can frighten small children. Get the big details sorted out early. The small things will fall into place.
Don’t let planning a wedding stretch you so thin you risk making yourself sick. Keep a level head, plan within your means, and be a good example for the youngest members of your new household.
Things that might cause a pause in your plans include whether or not kids are allowed at the venue, if their other parent will allow them to cross state lines for the ceremony, and if the venue puts a cap on alcohol served onsite since overly-enthusiastic drinkers can frighten small children. Get the big details sorted out early. The small things will fall into place.
Don’t let planning a wedding stretch you so thin you risk making yourself sick. Keep a level head, plan within your means, and be a good example for the youngest members of your new household.
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If you haven’t already read the book, it’s a great place to start - Relationship Reboot: Break free from the bad habits in your relationship.
David B. Younger, Ph.D. is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 14-year-old son, 5-year-old daughter and 7-year-old toy poodle.
If you haven’t already read the book, it’s a great place to start - Relationship Reboot: Break free from the bad habits in your relationship.
David B. Younger, Ph.D. is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 14-year-old son, 5-year-old daughter and 7-year-old toy poodle.
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