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Surrogacy, Egg Donation, and the Road to Parenthood

4/25/2019

 
Please enjoy the following guest post by Jenny Wise on surrogacy, egg donation and the road to parenthood.
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Jenny created Special Home Educator as a forum for sharing her adventures in homeschooling and connecting with other homeschooling families. Jenny is a homeschooling mom to four children.
SURROGACY, EGG DONATION, AND THE ROAD TO PARENTHOOD
Starting a family is something many couples long for, but sometimes the road to parenthood is a little bumpier than one expects. Both surrogacy and egg donation make having a baby a possibility for parents all over the world. According to the Council for Responsible Genetics, the number of children born via surrogacy increased by 89 percent from 2004 to 2008, and that number has continued to increase as more and more families are finally able to hold that precious baby in their arms.
 
Whether you are considering using surrogacy to start your family or are thinking about becoming a surrogate or donating your eggs, keep reading for helpful information to determine if this journey is right for you.

For intended parents

There are two types of surrogacy, with the most common being gestational surrogacy. In this scenario, the surrogate undergoes in vitro fertilization (IVF) or intrauterine insemination (IUI) to create and carry an embryo using the intended mother and father’s sperm and egg, or those of a donor. With a traditional surrogate, the surrogate uses her own egg and the sperm of the father or donor to create and carry and embryo that is genetically related to the surrogate. Gestational surrogacy is the most common and accepted method.
 
The cost of surrogacy varies greatly due to the various factors involved. Potential cost influencers include agency fees, advertising services, matching services, medical expenses, and surrogate compensation/reimbursement. According to Bankrate, you could be looking at a cost ranging beyond $100,000. It is important that you look up the laws in your state regarding pre- and post-birth orders, as well as surrogacy compensation.

For egg donors

If you are looking to help others start a family, egg donation is definitely something to look into. Talk with your OB-GYN, who can point you in the right direction to start filling out an application and get a medical evaluation. To qualify to be an egg donor you must:
 
  • Be a female, U.S. citizen between the ages of 21 to 31
  • Have a healthy BMI and be a non-smoker and non-drug user
  • Have two ovaries, good family health history, and zero history of reproductive disorders/abnormalities
  • Have regular menstrual cycles and not currently on any form of birth control
 
Once approved you will be placed in an egg donor registry to await a match and then start the retrieval process.
 
If you are on the opposite end and searching for an egg donor, you will work with an egg donation program to find the perfect match. Keep in mind the costs involved, which according to Circle Surrogacy include agency expenses for the coordination of egg donation process, donor screening, donor compensation, as well as complications insurance, all of which add up to roughly $27,000 or more.

For surrogates

Becoming a surrogate is a huge step, but seeing the joy you bring to someone longing for parenthood is indescribable. In order to qualify to be a surrogate, you must:
 
  • Be between the ages of 21 and 35 (age limit varies with each clinic)
  • Zero history of drugs and alcohol
  • Healthy BMI
  • Have already gone through a complication-free pregnancy and birth
  • Live in a surrogacy-friendly state
  • Have health and life insurance, stable income, and partner support
  • Ideally done having children
 
When choosing to become a surrogate, it’s imperative that you understand the level of commitment. You’ll be required to undergo medical screenings, fertility screenings, psychological screenings, hormonal medications, counseling, and must have a willingness to see the entire treatment cycle through. If you think you are ready, or are just interested in learning more, talk with your OBG-YN or local fertility clinic to gather information and receive step-by-step guidance on how to get started.
 
Surrogacy and egg donation, whether you are the intended parent, the donor or surrogate, is a big step but an exciting one. Take your time gathering information so that you can make an informed decision. The choice you make will certainly change a life for the better.


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If you haven’t already read the book, it’s a great place to start - Relationship Reboot: Break free from the bad habits in your relationship.
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David B. Younger, Ph.D. is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 14-year-old son, 5-year-old daughter and 7-year-old toy poodle.

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