How to be more intentional with your kids

Here is a guest post by Kay Pascale with tips about how to be more intentional with your kids. Kay Pascale is a writer from Durham, NC. When she isn't writing about family and wellness trends, she enjoys traveling, practicing yoga, and blogging.

Wanting to raise your kids as best as you can allows you to focus on what matters most. Being intentional can have significant benefits in both how you raise your children and how you feel as a parent. If you’re struggling with how to find intention in your parenting strategy, take a look at the following tips.

Create a routine

Routines are important no matter what age you are, but as a child that’s going through new life experiences for the first time, they are crucial. Make sure you create a solid and safe routine for your child as they learn and grow. This will help boost their confidence and teach them stability.

Think about how you were raised

Think about how you were raised and focus on the important factors, like what values your parents instilled in you, how they interacted with you, and how you take your experiences and operate today. How did they shape the decisions you make now? Are there things you wish they did differently? After going through some of these instances, consider what you want to implement in your own child’s life from how you were raised and what you might want to change.

Talk to other parents

Think about the parents that you admire and what you love about their parenting style. Granted, nobody is perfect, but think about the features that make you look up to that certain individual and consider how you can implement certain habits they engage in with your own parenting style. If possible, try and chat with that person and see what their thoughts are on certain parenting issues, like when children should go to bed, how to balance screen time, what foods the child should be eating, etc.

Communicate your needs to your partner

Parenting is a team effort, but with any partnership, there may be conflicting opinions. Communication is key here. You want to make sure that your child doesn’t get a “no” from you and then a “yes” from your partner. Make sure both you and your partner are on the same page in parenting your child so that you have a solid and consistent foundation to build off of.

Be consistent

Consistency is key with your routine and how you parent. If you promise you’ll take your child to the movies once a week, follow through on that promise. Similarly, if you say you’re going to be there at a sports practice or dance recital, be there. According to House Method, try to have a consistent family night at home to provide more routine to your child’s life. Whether it be a weekly spaghetti dinner, a board game tournament, or a movie night in, spend time in the home with them every week and try not to cancel.

Consider the future

What type of character do you want your kids to have? What type of disposition would you like them to take on? How do you want them to treat others? Though your child may already have a certain inherent personality, there are many traits that they pick up directly from your parenting style.

Spend time unplugged with your child

In a world that’s filled with technology, unplugging is key when it comes to parenting, as well as setting a good example for your children. Be sure to unplug, put away the screens, and engage with your child. Ask them how their day went, what they’re struggling with, and something they’re enjoying at the current moment. This shows that you’re trying to lead by example, be present with your child, and participate in things that they like.

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David B. Younger, Ph.D. is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 14-year-old son, 5-year-old daughter and 7-year-old toy poodle.