Please enjoy the following guest post about navigating the challenges that moving for a job can pose for a family.
Janet Currier is a mom of two with a passion for writing articles for various websites. Over the years, she has learned a lot about being a parent and how children think and feel. In her spare time, Janet spends time tending to her garden and reading up on childhood education.
Janet Currier is a mom of two with a passion for writing articles for various websites. Over the years, she has learned a lot about being a parent and how children think and feel. In her spare time, Janet spends time tending to her garden and reading up on childhood education.
Having to relocate for work can be stressful for anyone. When it involves leaving your family behind, it surely is a bitter-sweet moment. No matter how excited one might be to have a new professional opportunity, moving away from family for a job is never a fully joyous occasion. Both the ones leaving and staying behind will experience a mix of emotions and a lot of guilt. However, depending on a plethora of circumstances, it doesn't need to be entirely negative. A family can get through this rough patch with some easy steps and a lot of positivity.
Career advancements
It is not unusual for working professionals to get opportunities across the country that can help them advance their careers and open more doors in the future. It is no easy decision to make, especially if you have a family and children who cannot follow you for the time being or even for the duration of the posting.
No matter what your reasons are, there are many things you can do to make this period more bearable for everyone. If you follow through and stay focused on your family while being separated, it will all be well worth it. It may even help you be a better partner and parent overall.
No matter what your reasons are, there are many things you can do to make this period more bearable for everyone. If you follow through and stay focused on your family while being separated, it will all be well worth it. It may even help you be a better partner and parent overall.
Leaving home for financial reasons
If you are struggling to find employment in your current location, it might be time to find a position in another state. There is an abundance of information available online that can help you in your cross-country job hunt. Sometimes, the demand for specific professions is low in certain parts when the positions are waiting to be filled in others. Doing the right thing for your family is the obvious choice, and a little time apart might only make you stronger.
Focus on the positive when moving away from family for a job
This transition is challenging, and those negative feelings and dark thoughts might take you down a dark hole. Therefore, you need to consciously keep yourself, and your family members focused on the positive and stay optimistic. Keep reminding yourselves why you are making this sacrifice. Do not allow others to affect you with their myths of successful relationships, and don't dwell on the negative. It is very easy to find things to complain about, but that will not help you succeed on this journey in any way.
Video chat with your family
Dedicate a time to see your family online, come rain or shine. This routine will be something uplifting to hold on to. There is nothing more healing than seeing the faces of loved ones when feeling lonely and alone, far away from home. Tell each other how your days went and what new experiences you have had. In addition to that, it is a great idea to keep lots of pictures and meaningful items around your apartment. This will make the place cozier and less foreign. And of course, send texts - lots and lots of texts. Include pictures of the city, your apartment, and your workplace. This way, your family will feel a part of your experience.
Keep an eye on the little ones
Whether you are moving with or without your family, moving can trigger depression in children. It might not be very obvious at first. Children are extremely good at repressing and hiding their emotions. It might even come up later in the form of physical symptoms. So, keep an eye on the hidden clues and dedicate time for your kids. Make sure they understand why they have to be separated from you. They need to know that they are loved and cared for. Additionally, they need to know there is a timeline and that you will be together again soon.
Visit your family
Make planned and surprise visits as much as possible. This will make everyone joyful and content. Also, try to arrange for them to visit you as well. Depending on how far you relocate, it can be an adventure for the little ones. Instead of adding more stress to your routine by traveling, having your family visit will give you a boost. Even if you have to work, knowing they are there and that you will see them at the end of a long day will make everything better. Both for you and your family.
Things you can do for yourself
There are many things you can do to lift your spirits while being far from your family. While you want to focus on them as much as possible, you also need to take care of yourself. Do not underestimate the importance of a routine. Here are some things to focus on while you are away from your family for work:
· Explore your new city. Go sightseeing, take in the fresh surroundings. It is essential to view your new environment with optimism and accept it as your home away from home.
· Join a gym. Or any club that you enjoy frequenting. Continue with your regular activities so that your everyday life seems as normal as possible under the circumstances.
· Confide in friends. It is not always easy to tell your family how you feel while apart because you do not want them to worry. Nevertheless, you must have someone to talk to and share your good and bad days with.
· Socialize. Whether it is with coworkers or neighbors, immerse yourself in your new environment. There is no point in sitting alone in your apartment, beating yourself up about not being with your family. This will not help anyone, and it especially won't be good for your mental state. Go for a coffee once in a while, or ask someone to show you around.
· Explore your new city. Go sightseeing, take in the fresh surroundings. It is essential to view your new environment with optimism and accept it as your home away from home.
· Join a gym. Or any club that you enjoy frequenting. Continue with your regular activities so that your everyday life seems as normal as possible under the circumstances.
· Confide in friends. It is not always easy to tell your family how you feel while apart because you do not want them to worry. Nevertheless, you must have someone to talk to and share your good and bad days with.
· Socialize. Whether it is with coworkers or neighbors, immerse yourself in your new environment. There is no point in sitting alone in your apartment, beating yourself up about not being with your family. This will not help anyone, and it especially won't be good for your mental state. Go for a coffee once in a while, or ask someone to show you around.
Keep calm and carry on
This chapter of your life will undoubtedly be challenging. Moving away from family for a job will test your physical, emotional, and mental state. The most important thing to remember is to not let temporary obstacles get the best of you. Give and receive as much love as possible, and you will come out of the experience better for it.
If you haven’t already read the book, it’s a great place to start - Relationship Reboot: Break free from the bad habits in your relationship.
David B. Younger, Ph.D. is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 16-year-old son, 7-year-old daughter and 9-year-old toy poodle.
David B. Younger, Ph.D. is the creator of Love After Kids, for couples that have grown apart since having children. He is a clinical psychologist and couples therapist with a web-based private practice and lives in Austin, Texas with his wife, 16-year-old son, 7-year-old daughter and 9-year-old toy poodle.
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